On a Christian Womans Perspective
A christian woman holds a higher role VS. a worldly woman with no standards. While dating a christian man, a christian woman should be holy and stand her ground with strength into keeping her flesh controlled daily. A worldly womans mind set is to be with a man and if he seems to be a good man then she feels obligated to put more of herself out, which means "giving it up" or "having sex". It's most common that a woman of the world will influence a man letting him know that it's ok to have sex before marriage just by the way she acts or if it engages to a intimate situation where it's only both the man and the woman in a quiet place being intimate, it could lead to sex. Nine times out of ten, it will happen. On the other hand a christian woman...a good one that has her flesh under control will say "no" and to suggest to seek counceling in order for the relationship to take it a further step.
Secular+Christian=Compromise?
I had my share of dating different type of guys that are not born again christians or saved and during the relationships I felt obligated, putting my salvation at risk to give in to temptation. Temptation was always there no matter what. Times they didn't ask for "it", I willingly gave into that spirit of Jezebel. So why date out of the will of God? I felt as if it was hard to wait. I always felt as if something is missing. Walking around seeing all of these happy couples of how really close they are made me feel like I'm missing out on a good relationship. Many times I seeked...and seeked....and seeked trying out all types of guys and not one of them were qualified. No matter how saved I was they weren't interested. All they wanted was me on a deeper level of intamacy. Many times I tried to tell them I'm a christian but then during the whole process in a relationship, I drifted off away from the will of God and his purpose for me. Once I started having sex, I couldn't stop. It was addicting like crack(laughs). From different experiences it made me realized the reason why I wanted to date an unsaved man so that I could sin.To me at the time sinning against God wasn't taken seriously. That thought didn't just pop up in the head while dating those men. It was familiar spirits that led me to put myself out there to be taken advantage of. Even when I tried to go to church again, I went back to my same old ways Monday-Saturdays but then now I realized no matter how many times I was under the word regardless of the times I sinned with my body, It was a planted seed and God was always there because he knew one day, that I would finally make a decision to totally turn away from sin. During the process of my life changing it was as if I was in spiritual rehab. Times I recieved phone calls or text messages from old boyfriends or guys I dated to try to get back together or go out to reunite and talk about old things I gave in and never heard from them since was a trick from the devil to make me slide a few steps back. But now if the devil tried to bring old news to me, I'll NEVER give him the satisfaction.
Wisdom (Ladies & Gentleman) While Dating A Christian
The wisest thing while dating a woman or man of God is to maintain a strong christian friendship FIRST. Understand and get to know the person. Finding out their likes and dislikes. Getting to know their family "AND FRIENDS"(meeting ALL friends). Praying and fasting are two key things that will keep the relationship up and running with God in the middle as number one. If a man or woman of God wants to pursue you, you will know by their actions and not just call or show when desire. But if a man or woman of God genuinly wants to get to know everything about you that's a sign of a possibility. From then on you pray and fast, seeking God to ask if he or she is the right one for you. Your anwer will come through dreams,visions, and prophecy. Most importantly GOD WILL LET YOU KNOW FIRST!!! two or three other times will be a confirmation.
5 Mistakes in a Christian Relationship
1.)Sex-Don't ever be alone with the person your dating because temptation can come quickly. Use wisdom.
2.)Being Selfish- One person can't be in a relationship by his or her self. That means if its right then both parties would want equal time spent and pursuing one another at the same time. A No, no for example. Priscilla wants to go see a movie with Tom, Tom has a christian party to go do without inviting Priscilla to come along. What does he have to hide? If he spends time with his other friends should Priscilla come along to get to know them too since their a part of his life? Pursuing him is knowing everything about him including his friends. Otherwise if he hides you from them he's not being genuine or truthful to you and nine times out of ten he's hiding something from you and he's being selfish. On another note if he had to work that day, you would know.
3.)Lack of trust- "It's not you who I don't trust, it's your hidden thoughts"-The Family that Preys(love that movie!) Well basically a man or woman comes for different things weather it's for long term or short term. The question is, will you trust this person with your heart? How would you know what their really thinking about you? The most thing that breaks a person daily is being taken advantage of. Thats when God comes in to let you know things about a person especially people having the Holy Spirit which is a deeper relm in their salvation walk..indeed God will let you know things about a person that you would never imagine. I am a witness of it. Dating a christian without the Holy Ghost was a struggle. God begin to deal with me about this person and he showed me a dream a few months or years down the line but in this dream I looked older and I was suppose to meet my boyfriend at the time at a resturant. Here I'm sitting in this resturant waiting for him to come. I call him wondering what time is he coming so we can eat and he tells me that he's on his way, so we had finished talking and while I waited for him to get off the phone he didn't realized I was still on and he didn't realized he didn't hang up, I heard this female in the background saying "Did you tell her about us?" At that moment I woke up from the dream and all of what I invested in this guy was soon to come to a close. And thats when I put all the pieces to the puzzle that he was talking to other females that he was dating. He couldn't have been a minister, ministering the gospel to them while treating them to lunch? "Nah boo thats a date" If they needed guidance, shouldn't they have ask God and not man? You can seek counceling but a double minded man the bible says is unstabled. (James 1:8)Thats what brings me back to my point when I quoted the line from the movie The Family That Preys. What was he thinking while going out on these dates while dating me? And to top that never have he invited me to go see any more of his friends when he had gatherings other than two. So trust in a relationship has to be a strong foundation otherwise you have the right to let them go.
4.)Money- Call it what you want but you can't buy love, or you can't use money to control a person. Being controlling while having money is an exit sign for a blow up and no man or woman should not be involved with anyone that has control issues. Those are danger signs in the making. Watch all the Tyler Perry movies those are true examples!
5.)Compromise- Be careful what things you watch or listen to while your out and about during your relationship because those familiar spirits can haunt you if you compromise meaning giving in to it and think it's ok. God tells us to guard your heart. Well don't let anything thats against God to be invited in your relationships wherever you go.
Those are just a few tips and concerns but in order to be in prosperous relationships and friendships, you have to use wisdom.
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